I liked the atmosphere there. I’ve seen lots of restaurants for fast food and I never thought that they had a good atmosphere but this one was different. I looked around and I felt like home. The people were strangers and the only common thing that I had with them was the reason why we were there. But anyway I felt some kind of belonging.
I forgot these thoughts while we were on our way to the airport because I felt that I was going home. The energy in my body and the enthusiasm in my soul were indescribable. The metro was full of people with suitcases. I felt some connection to these strangers too. We were traveling, we were going somewhere; business trip, vacation, home, whatever. I was among those going home. I was happy and afraid. I couldn’t stand that mix.
I was feeling strange and I decided to spoke with Gaga about this. We had enough time because we were flying the whole day. I opened up my soul while being up in the air. That is an interesting position. You are far away from the ground but you know there is something beyond you too. You are just in the middle, free and stuck at the same time. Between the clouds and the sunbeams all of my fears, my thoughts and my emotions came out.
I felt that I am going back to my life. It can sound stupid but a student with a career plans can have life. During our first month in the States I felt that I was losing my identity, I was somebody else, they even called me differently because of the differences in pronunciation, I didn’t dress as usually because I didn’t have time for that, I didn’t eat what I wanted because it takes time for home-made food and time is money, I didn’t go out because I was too tired after work. In addition, I was too occupied with our housing problems and money saving I didn’t even think about love and relationships. I was definitely another person.
I left my life behind me for four months and during our hard times I was complaining that I want to be myself again. But then, when I was in the plane, going back to my real life, I was scared.
When we travel and we move somewhere for a longer period we can be anything we want to. We can live as we want to or we have to. But our lives back home are not waiting. People do things, situations happen and nobody waits for anybody. It is strange how you can look at your life and the people in it from a distance almost like a third person. You’ll be surprised what can be seen. And after that nothing is the same. That’s what scared me. I was not the same. I experienced lot of things here. My stay in the States will always be remembered as one of the biggest experiences in my life.